


Bits and Pieces

by sassy_lesbian



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-10
Updated: 2014-05-16
Packaged: 2018-01-15 05:13:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 17,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1292680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassy_lesbian/pseuds/sassy_lesbian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Formerly "Apologies and Promises". This is now a collection of Shafferty drabbles from tumblr prompts (including A and P). I will also accept prompts here if there's something you'd like to see.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Apologies and Promises

**Author's Note:**

> Original Prompt: Shay/Rafferty's first kiss

She’s been doing it for weeks now, kissing your cheek every time you part. It doesn’t seem to matter if it’s at work or after a night people-watching at Molly’s, but it happens every time without fail. Tonight is no different. 

You’d been drinking for a few hours - slowly, you know how to pace yourself and you’re only just slightly buzzed - and you can tell by her uncomfortable shifting she’s ready to leave. You offer to walk her out and she accepts, nodding her goodbyes to the rest of your friends as she shrugs on her jacket. 

You stand at the corner under the streetlight, her hands stuffed into her jeans pockets and your arms folded across your chest. She thanks you for inviting her out and you shrug it off like it’s no big deal, and at this point it really isn’t. She smiles at you then and you prepare yourself for what’s to to come. The head tilt, the “thanks anyway, it was fun”, and finally the lean in. 

Her lips burn as they meet your cheek, there for only a moment before she pulls away again. You’re not sure why she does it but you swear there’s an apology in every press of her lips to your skin, a kind of public statement that she’s not that bitch anymore. It only reaffirms your suspicions when you see the tiniest flash of sadness in her eyes as she turns towards her car. 

"I forgive you, you know."

It’s out of your mouth before you can stop it and it’s caught her attention too. She looks at you, eyes questioning, body unmoving just an arms length away. 

"Months ago, actually," you continue, and it’s the truth. 

She smiles then, soft and genuine, and you can practically feel the relief in the air. She steps towards you, a darkness in her eyes, and you prepare yourself for whatever snark is about to come your way. Instead, you feel her lips on yours, fleeting yet lasting all at once. 

You press forward as she pulls away, catching her lips again for a second and then a third time. There’s no sadness there anymore, no apology burning it’s way under your skin; no, this time it’s different, it’s a promise. And when she walks away, an “I’ll call you tomorrow” tossed casually over her shoulder you have no doubt in your mind that’s exactly what she’ll do.


	2. I've Missed You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompted Dialogue: "I've missed you."

It's been two months since Rafferty was put on probation and two months since you've seen or heard from her. You're not surprised, not really. You weren't friends in what most people would consider the normal sense, but you were friendly; more than that, you understood each other. You like to think that despite your apparent cattiness you share a mutual respect for each other, even if no one else can see it.

That's why it's a surprise one night when she shows up at Molly's completely out of the blue. You'd had a rough day; a kid coded on you and Dawson on the way to the hospital and even though you'd brought him back it was likely he'd never fully recover. So you're drinking your worries away at a table near the back when you see her slip in through the front door, her eyes searching intently until they meet yours.

"Well look who the cat dragged in," you tease as she makes her way to your table. She takes the seat next to you, draping her coat across the chair-back.

"Really? I'm here less than a minute and already with the pussy jokes?"

She shakes her head at you and you don't even try to stop the laugh from escaping your lips.

"Oh please," you counter. "If I'd known you were gonna read into everything I'd have said 'Look who came out tonight'."

That earns you a shove to the shoulder and an amused snort. You let yourself sway back towards her, your face turning serious.

"I've missed you," you confess.

"Yeah, I've missed you too."


	3. I've Got You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompted dialogue: "It's all right, I've got you. I'm not gonna let you go, Allison. I've got you."

You see her the second she walks in, arms wrapped tightly around herself, eyes puffy and red. She's not crying at the moment but you can tell it's likely the only thing she's been doing for quite some time so you excuse yourself from the table and meet her halfway.

She doesn't say anything and you don't ask any questions, instead leading her by the hand to the back office. She bursts into tears as soon as the door is closed so you pull her into you, rubbing circles on her back with one hand as she breaks, sobbing into your shoulder.

What you don't know is that it's been a year to the day since her fiance died. You don't know that she's been drinking all day or that she stared at her phone for an hour trying to figure out who she could call to come pick her up off the floor. You don't know that she almost called you three times before deciding to just come find you instead. You don't know any of that, but you don't need to. All you need to know is that her hands are fisted in the back of your jacket and her mascara is running down your shoulder and if she's here it's because for whatever reason, it's you that she needs right now.

The door opens suddenly and Dawson and Casey stumble in, the noise filtering in from the bar reminding you that maybe this isn't the best place to deal with whatever it is that's going on. You shake your head and your friends leave as quickly as they arrived, but Rafferty is already pulling away, apologies spilling from her mouth.

She says it's not your burden, that it's not your fault, and you nod in agreement as you take a cautious step towards her.

"I don't," she sucks in a breath trying to keep her tears at bay. "I don't-"

But she doesn't finish her thought before the tears come again.

"It's alright, hey, I've got you."

You hold her tight against your body as she tries to push you away, but her shoves are getting weaker and you know she doesn't have any fight left.

"I'm not gonna let you go, Allison," you breathe into her ear. "I've got you."

Her sobs subside after a few more minutes but you need to get her away from here before she starts again. You wipe the tears from her cheeks with your thumbs and offer her a small smile.

"Do you really wanna be in a bar right now," you ask and she shakes her head no.

"Do you wanna be alone right now?"

She does the same.

"Okay then," you say, your hands now gripping her shoulders. "Now this is the first time I've asked this without it being sexual okay, but, your place or mine?"

She smiles then and calls you an idiot and you know she's gonna be just fine.


	4. Pretty Gay to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompted Dialogue: "this feels pretty gay to me"

"Yeah, no. I'm not going to a movie with you."

"Come on," Shay replies. "I won two free passes. It's not like I'm asking you on a date."

"Just ask Dawson."

"She's busy. And before you ask so is Kelly."

In all truth you wouldn't mind seeing a movie, you haven't been out anywhere other than a bar in awhile, but you're not quite sure you're ready for one on one time with Shay outside of work.

"Well I'm sorry, but it's just a little too gay for me."

Shay rolls her eyes and you're pretty sure she's got a good comeback on the tip of her tongue but you don't give her a chance to voice it. With a mumbled "oh fuck" you shove Shay into the nearest utility closet and follow her in, slamming the door behind you.

"Really," Shay questions. "Really? A movie is too gay for you but-"

"There's a guy out there I really don't want to see right now, okay?"

You meet her eyes and you know she's waiting for a more detailed explanation but you're not about to give her one.

Despite your silence, she smirks.

"What now?"

"It's just um," she pauses. "This feels pretty gay to me."

Her eyes dart down and it's only then that you realize your hands are pretty much cupping her breasts.

"I mean you could at least buy me dinner first."

You pull away and shake your head.

"Fine," you concede. "I'll go to the damn movie with you. But you're buying the popcorn and we're never discussing this ever again."

She doesn't stop laughing until the next call comes in.


	5. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Original Dialogue Prompt: "I need you to stay."

It’s nearing 2 am when your eyes find your clock but the lateness doesn’t bother you; In fact, you welcome it. It’s the woman in your arms that worries you. The way she’s draped across you, skin against skin, body aching just as deliciously as yours, that’s what’s got your mind racing.

You can tell by the way her breath is steady and slow that she’s likely almost asleep; you can’t let her though. Because there are rules. Rules you agreed to when you first started this arrangement - because that’s what it is, an arrangement - and you really can’t break them, for both your sakes.

“Rafferty.”

You say her name quietly, trailing your fingers up and down her spine, and watch carefully as she stirs, burying her face in your chest before looking up to meet your eyes in the darkness.

There’s confusion there, an innocence you’ve only seen glimpses of before, so you explain before she has a chance to ask, “You were falling asleep.”

She sits up then, her back to you, sheet clutched to her chest.

“Right,” she sighs. “No sleepovers.”

“Hey,” you say, sitting up and hugging your knees to your chest. “You made the rules. I’m just following them.”

“To protect you,” she snaps, meeting your eyes over her shoulder. You know it’s true. She’d explained it the first time you slept together, that she needed intimacy, that she needed sex, that she trusted you but emotions had to stay out of it. She didn’t want you to fall when she knew she couldn’t be what you needed. You’d agreed anyway, knowing full well you were already falling.

It’s different now though. It’s still rough and passionate and hot, but she kisses you differently. She holds you closer before climbing out of bed, takes just a little bit longer to recover before letting you go, and you think maybe now the rules are as useless as ever.

You watch as she climbs out of your bed and gathers her clothes, completely unaware of the internal conflict her actions have instilled within you. She’s pulling her shirt over her head when you finally reach a decision.

“I need you to stay.”

She pauses, turning to face you once again.

“It’s late and it’s freezing outside, I need you to stay.”

It’s not really a lie but it’s definitely an excuse and the look in her eyes tells you she knows exactly what you’re doing. She takes the out you’re giving her though, stripping back down and settling in against you. You’re almost surprised she didn’t pretend to protest but the “thank you” mumbled into your shoulder tells you the thought never even crossed her mind.


	6. The Closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: shay locks herself in the closet and texts rafferty for help. When rafferty gets there she doesn't let shay out right away, teasing her saying something like "back in the closet?" or something like that.

Oddly enough, accidentally locking herself in the closet is not one of the more embarrassing things Shay’s ever done; it’s who she has to call to get her out though, that’s giving her anxiety. Dawson is on some fancy date with Casey and Kelly is off doing god knows what so that leaves the one person she knows is free: Rafferty.

She stares at her name for a good 30 seconds before finally typing out a nonchalant message asking if she’s busy, but Shay’s too antsy to wait for a reply. Instead she pulls up Rafferty’s number and hits send.

It’s not all that surprising when she doesn’t answer and Shay almost decides not to leave a message but she has things to do today that are more important than being trapped in her own damn closet.

When her phone rings a few minutes later she answers it somewhat reluctantly, her “hello” met with nothing but raucous laughter. Shay knows she’s never going to live this one down so she just tells Rafferty where the spare key to the apartment is and gets a promise to head over right away in return.

Not 10 minutes later she hears the front door being unlocked and is hit with the sudden realization of exactly what kind of situation she’d gotten herself into. To Rafferty’s credit, the first question out of her mouth is “which closet are you in”. The second though, is the one Shay’d been dreading.

“What are you willing to do in exchange for me letting you out?”

Shay closes her eyes and shakes her head in shame despite the fact that no one can see her, it’s the principle of the thing, “Whatever you want Rafferty. Just get me out of here.”

There’s a moment of silence before she gets a response and it’s long enough for her to know what’s coming.

“I want to hear you say it.”

“Say what?” She feigns ignorance all the while knowing it’ll get her nowhere.

“Say it, Shay.”

“Fine,” she huffs. “Rafferty, I’m trapped in the closet and I want to come out. Will you help me, please?”

When the door opens all Shay sees is the satisfied smirk on Rafferty’s face but instead of retaliating she simply gives her a playful shove and asks her to lunch. Coming out of the closet really isn’t so bad the second time around.


	7. It's Not For Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is my own interpretation of the "It's not for me. It's never for me anymore." line as well as the whole Shay/Rafferty texting situation. It turned out a little different than I had originally planned but I actually really like where it ended up. Also, I rewatched eps 2x11-2x17 like 3 times each to get specific moments as accurate as possible so if you're not sure if something actually happened on screen or not just ask. Hope you enjoy!

It starts the night of the blackout.

You're walking through the firehouse on your way back to the ambulance when your phone buzzes in your pocket. You're not sure what you were expecting but it certainly wasn't a photo from Rafferty; apparently there is quite an interesting argument going on just outside the ambo right now and she doesn't think you should miss it. Unfortunately Herrmann swoops in just as you get another picture so you do your best to pretend you're paying attention and hope for a speedy getaway.

You think you're in the clear when the doors to the garage finally come into sight, but before you can slip through them Detective Lindsay shows up and you're on your way back into the heart of the station. It's no surprise when you get another text a few minutes later with nothing but a frowny face.

The texts come few and far between after that despite the fact that you seem to be getting closer, and when Rafferty tells you she needs time, a part of you thinks she isn't just talking about time away from the job. It could be, you think, that she also needs time away from you. And you understand. You know how hard it can be to let someone in when all you've been able to feel is loss.

Your theory goes bust, however, the day after she leaves the firehouse.

Today is the day you and the rest of 51 are headed over to present the finished library, and with Dawson on a gimp leg you're kind of the last paramedic standing. You know you can't handle the medic table by yourself so you shoot Rafferty a text and all the worry you'd had over her needing time away from you is gone with a simple "I'll be there." It helps, too, that when she shows up - work clothes and all - she gives you a bright smile and a tight hug.

And later, when she asks what you're doing tonight, you manage to convince her to join everyone at Molly's with a few well-placed pouts and sad faces.

Getting shot at shakes you up more than you're willing to admit but no one seems overly concerned about your well-being. Maybe it's because you're alive and well and standing unscathed right in front of them but you still want someone to acknowledge that you might not be as okay as you look. You're halfway through a text to Rafferty, because at least she would understand, when Jones whips out her penis cake. You're a little disgusted at first but quickly find the humor in it and you decide Rafferty would probably rather hear about this than the almost-getting-shot thing anyway.

You end up telling her later, though, kind of by accident. You're at Molly's with the rest of 51 for Dawson's Tapas Night and Herrmann's anniversary and you really can't resist giving Rafferty a play-by-play of what's going on. You don't think about it when you casually mention that Ramsey, the guy who helped you and Dawson not get shot, is creeping on your friend and she reacts instantly. Your phone is suddenly bombarded with texts asking if you're okay and what happened and it feels good to know someone cares. When she asks again if you're sure you're okay you tell her you're fine and you really mean it. You wish you'd told her sooner.

You text even more often now. After the whole shooting thing Rafferty made you promise to keep her in the loop and you've taken to updating her after every call, even when it's routine. You think she must be bored since she always responds, and quickly at that. It's a nice change of pace from everything that's been going on lately. And you don't just mean at work. Kelly's had his sister to deal with and Dawson's been dealing with both Casey and the fire academy stuff and you've just been sitting on the sidelines watching your friends' lives unfold. It's why you've been hanging out with Clarke so much, and that's been good, but he's not great at girl talk.

You try to be discreet about it.

Your texting is friendly banter mostly, well, as friendly as the two of you get, but it's becoming a more regular occurrence and you're starting to wonder if anyone has noticed how often you're on your phone. You also wonder if anyone has noticed that you don't pull it out every time you feel it vibrate against your leg - even when you know other people can hear it buzzing - and you wonder if they know you're only feigning disinterest.

So it's out of habit that you check your phone when Kelly's rings, even though it's not even your ringtone, and you tell him, "It's not mine" just to make it more obvious. You do a double take before returning your phone to your pocket, the screen lighting up with an incoming text, but you see it's Rafferty and decide to save it 'til later in favor of pressing your roommate about his relationship with Lindsay.

Unfortunately for you, Severide's lovelife is not the only one in need of your attention. Mouch voicing his desire for your assistance isn't entirely out of the blue - you'd heard the boys talking about how he'd been dumped - but you'd be lying if you said you expected it, especially since you're really not that close. He springs it on you while you're texting Rafferty about the fire and while you avoid giving him a straight-up answer you tell Rafferty about it as soon as you're clear. Thankfully it lightens the mood a bit, she seems just as amused as you do by the whole situation, and you let yourself smile when she offers her assistance.

Your good mood doesn't last though. The act of cleaning out the rig brings back the somber memories of the morning and thinking about how those kids lost their father is bad enough on it's own, but when Ramsey's voice comes echoing from the ambo's radio you take it as a sign that things are only going to get worse. And they do. You've already got your phone out to give Rafferty a "Dawson's stalker" update when Dawson's phone starts ringing. You make an offhanded comment about it never being for you anymore thinking maybe you'll get a rise out of her since you know she's noticed how attached to your phone you've been lately but she just brushes you off. When you realize it's Ramsey on the phone, you can't really fault her for her mind being elsewhere.

It's a couple shifts later when you finally come up with a solution to Mouch's situation. You'd spent a good deal of time going over options with Rafferty and hadn't really come up with anything beyond jokes at Mouch's expense and speculating about his age, but after talking it over with a few other friends, Kendra had finally given you an idea you agreed with.

As it turns out, Mouch is not as old as you think he is and the suggestion of golden-oldies.com literally gets thrown back in your face, the paper you'd written it on bouncing off of you and into your lap. You waste no time sharing the results with Rafferty and laugh out loud when she asks, "Well how old is he then?".

No one says a word, though, despite you being glued to your phone all day, and you realize you're kind of fit to burst. You feel like a five year old; you've got this new thing that is so shiny and so awesome and all you want to do is talk about it. But you're not five, so you keep your mouth shut instead. And you wonder why that is exactly, why you're so afraid to tap Dawson on the shoulder and show her the picture Rafferty just sent that's got you smiling like a fool.

Maybe it's because you're not actually five. There's this thing about little kids where they don't have a filter, they don't yet understand shame. If a five year old likes something, they're damn well gonna tell you about it whether you want them to or not. Adults though, well, adults don't have that luxury. What adults do have is an incessant need to be right. No matter what your opinion is someone is going to tell you it's wrong and that, you've discovered, is why you're so reluctant to share.

Yes, you're happier than you've been in a while and you've got no reason to feel bad about that but you worry that maybe you're a little too happy. You could start dropping Rafferty's name into casual conversation but after going weeks without bringing her up even that feels too forced and you're convinced the first words out of someone's mouth are going to be "You still talk to her? I thought you guys hated each other."

Even worse is the thought that someone might mistake your excitement for something more and tell you to slow it down before you go and get yourself hurt. And okay, maybe you're becoming a little too attached to your former partner but it's not like anyone else has made much of an effort with you recently, friendly or otherwise.

That's why, at the end of the day, when everyone else is unwinding at Molly's, you're sitting on Rafferty's couch, a bottle of wine between you and the entirety of Netflix at your fingertips. Because it may be that you haven't known her all that long and it may be just the thrill of something new, and hell, you might be willing to admit you're kinda falling for her a little bit, but tonight you're the most at peace with the world you've been in a long time and you know for sure that she's the reason why.


	8. We're Finally Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompted Dialogue: "We're finally alone"

“We’re finally alone.”

The words leave your lips of their own accord, your mind still too jumbled to act as a filter. You can’t remember how you got here, why you’re lying in a hospital bed with oxygen steadily puffing it’s way into your nose, but there’s a foreign tightness in your chest and half of 51 has already been in to wish you well.

When Shay fails to move you find yourself speaking again.

“It’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”

She looks at you then, eyes wide, confused.

“You’ve been waiting in the corner for an hour. You gonna say something or not?”

She rises from the chair and cautiously makes her way to your side, hands finding purchase on the railing of your bed. When you look up at her face you can tell she’s been crying. You extend your fingers and reach up for hers, thankful that she’s on the side opposite your IV.

She lets the tips of her fingers brush yours, feeling you out for just a moment before taking your hand completely. She cradles it in both of hers, playing with your fingers and watching carefully as she lets herself accept that you’re really there and not just an apparition.

You don’t speak for awhile, knowing both that she needs the silence and that your lungs are most definitely not in the mood for a conversation.

Instead, you watch her. Watch her, watching you. You haven’t seen her this close to broken since you met and a part of you is terrified of what that means. The rest of you, though, knows that she’s been your rock for months. She’s fought for you and defended you and refused to let you drown in your own pain and sorrow. She’s kept you alive. And to suddenly see you on what you can only assume was the brink of death, that would break anyone.

She breaks the silence eventually, eyes still fixed on where your fingers dance with her own.

“I was scared for you today.”

Her voice is soft and shaky, as unsure as you’ve ever heard her. She’s scared now too.

“Afraid you’d get stuck with a shitty new PIC with me out of commission?”

Her lips twitch with the briefest of smiles.

“No.”

It’s all she offers.

You manage to wrap your fingers around a couple of hers and give a gentle tug, her eyes finally drifting up to meet yours.

“I’m here.”

She lowers her eyes and let’s out a single breathy laugh, tilting her head to the side.

“I know.”

You barely have your other arm raised, the offer of a hug left unspoken, before she’s in your arms. She’s careful enough to keep from hurting you but her face is pressed into your neck and the way her breath feels on your skin you’re pretty sure you couldn’t feel pain right now if you tried. You hold her as tightly as you can and let your hands trace soothing patterns onto her back and sides, but you don’t say a word when you feel her tears trailing down your shoulder.

A nurse pops her head in not long after that, insisting visiting hours are over, but your hands stay firm on Shay’s back and hold her to you as you meet the nurses eyes, “She stays.”


	9. Everything is gonna be fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the .5 second clip in the CF/CPD crossover promo.

She doesn’t wake up the first day. Or the second or the third. It’s not uncommon but it’s still got you unsettled enough that you find yourself at her bedside every minute you’re not on shift.

The near-silence of the room is all too familiar at first, a sound you’d never wanted to hear again and yet somehow, this time, it brings you peace. The low electrical hum of machines reminding you a life is being saved instead of lost.

You pull up a chair and sit down next to her, taking her hand between yours. It’s a physical comfort, moreso for you than for Shay, and you’re not even sure if she can even hear you when you talk but it’s the best you can do. When you look up at her, her eyes closed and breath steady, you marvel at how peaceful she looks. But it’s all just a facade, a mask made of painkillers and sedatives. And you wish she was sleeping, that you’d stumbled onto her simply taking a nap somewhere safe and warm and anywhere but here; but here you are.

Sometimes the nurses will pass by and see you reading or on your phone, and you’re sure they’ve probably seen you sleeping too, and you wonder what they must think. Because without fail, no matter how else you’re occupying your time, your hand is always wrapped around Shay’s.

You kiss her knuckles when you leave, sometimes her forehead too, because you’re still not sure if she can hear you when you promise you’ll be back soon. But for all the time you’ve spent with her, it’s just your luck that she wakes up while you’re on shift.

You make it back a couple hours later to find Shay sitting up and alert and you can’t help the tears suddenly falling from your eyes. She opens her arms to you and you collapse into them, burying your face in her shoulder. You worry you might be hurting her but her lips are on your cheek and her hands are rubbing circles on your back so you stay where you are and let her hold you just a little bit longer.

When you finally pull away you bring your hands to your face, wiping at the tears still on your cheeks. She reaches for you then, taking your hand and holding it firmly.

“The nurses told me what you did,” she says. “That you hardly ever left.”

You can’t look at her, can’t even begin to imagine how to explain yourself.

She squeezes your hand, “I know you never let go.”

Just like that you’re on the verge of tears again but Shay is telling you to “come here” and you decide not to fight. This time, when Shay pulls you in, she tilts her head up and catches your lips with her own. It’s a soft kiss, sweet and reassuring, and she follows it with two more before she lets you pull away and bury your face in her neck yet again.

Everything is going to be just fine.

 

 


	10. Caught

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Original Tumblr Prompt: shafferty making out in the ambo/the room where all the helmets etc are/any room at all and someone walks in

It’s not the best place for a quickie, it’s actually probably one of the worst; but the adrenaline rush from your last call has you on such a high that you kind of can’t be pissed to care. 

You grab Rafferty by the arm and tug her into the back of the Ambo while the boys and Dawson pile off their trucks mere feet away, and slam the doors shut behind you. You don’t care that there are windows. No one should be back there anyway.

What you do care about is getting your hands on Rafferty’s skin as quickly and efficiently as possible, so you sit back and pull her into your lap, hands immediately untucking and slipping under her shirt. Your mouth finds hers too, the kiss you share hard and needy. 

Her hands are fisted in your hair and her hips are rocking against you so hard you’re pretty sure the ambo is rocking with you and it only makes you want her more. You drop a hand to the top of her pants, hesitating just long enough for her to nod her approval before unbuttoning them and slipping your hand in.

You tease her briefly, delighting in the needy gasps falling from her mouth and are just about to follow through when the back door swings open.

Dawson’s hand slaps over her eyes instantly but the “oh my god” you hear mumbled under her breath as she shuts the door again tells you she knows exactly what you were doing.

You sit silently as Rafferty climbs off your lap and you watch her closely as she straightens herself back out and even though you didn’t get to finish the job you’re still pretty satisfied with how disheveled you got her in just a matter of minutes. She looks down at you then and there’s a hunger in her eyes that gets your blood going all over again. And when she leans down to give you one more kiss you can taste the promise of tonight on her tongue.

The rest of shift is going to be hell.


	11. Headcanon Vomit (Part I)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: These are a bunch of little headcanons derived from prompts given to me by Maxi (mostly, I came up with a couple on my own). I've compiled them into installments to avoid adding a bunch of really short chapters. As always, if there's something you'd like to see feel free to leave it in the comments or send me a message. Thanks and enjoy!

I also need Shay being super insecure like they're snuggled up in bed for the night and suddenly Shay just asks "do you mean it?" and Rafferty kinda pulls back a little so she can look at Shay's face and she asks again "I mean really mean it" and Rafferty just looks at her point blank and says "I'm not her" in reference to clarice because they never really talked about it and Rafferty got most of the story from Dawson but she knows what Shay's thinking and then she says "I mean it, I love you, really" and she kisses her and repeats "I'm not her" and Shay says "I know" still not entirely convinced so Rafferty makes her look at her and says "I love you, and this, what we have, I wouldn't trade it for anything, anything" and Shay gets it then. because what Allison is telling her is that she wouldn't let go of Shay even if it meant getting her fiancé back and that tells her all she needs to know

* * *

Also also, I want to see Rafferty pick Shay up. Like they're making out somewhere and Raff just like scoops her and Shay goes with it, wrapping her legs around her waist and her arms around her neck and Raff's got her hands in her hair and just other general hotness. It would also be adorable if she couldn't hold her that long so they end up falling into a giggling heap on a couch or a bed or something idk.

* * *

Another thing I need? Rafferty shoving Shay against a wall and kissing the shit out of her.

Rafferty's push would stem from pent up emotion and feelings, as would the kiss, it would be more passionate than lustful and Shay would be totally taken off guard for a few seconds before her mind catches up and she fists her hands in Rafferty's jacket and tugs her closer and then uses leverage to flip them so Rafferty is up against the wall instead and she kisses her hard before moving down to her neck at which point Rafferty's eyes and mouth open and her face just reads "holy fuck this is glorious I'm so screwed (literally)"

* * *

**Shay sees Devon while with Rafferty? What happens?**

Okay that's kinda hard cuz I can't remember exactly how they dealt with the robbery like if they filed charges or what happened but I totally see Shay becoming livid, just like suddenly ice cold and Raff just stops and is like you okay and Shay's like remember that girl I told you about that robbed me blind? And Rafferty makes the connection and immediately tightens her grip on Shay's arm because she is not gonna let Shay go off right now even though she herself wants to cut the bitch but surprisingly Shay doesn't move. She just keeps staring. And then Devon looks over and just smirks. And Raff is just all soft spoken and says "come on, she's not worth it, let me buy you a beer" and Shay turns with Rafferty still on her arm and she just breathes out all of the tension at once and then kinda smiles and shakes her head at herself and Rafferty is like "what?" and Shay just says thanks and Rafferty has no idea what she even did and when she asks Shay just says "for loving me" and then they go be all cute and fluffy together.

* * *

I am also going to need a scene where Shay is ragging on herself for not being loveable like, her talking about how Dawson has Casey and Severide has Lindsay and how everyone has someone but her and she's alone and unlovable and she might as well just go adopt a dozen cats and become the stereotype and she's just on this whole mega-rant in front of Rafferty and Raff is just standing there falling more in love and Shay keeps going and is pacing while she rants and at some point Rafferty just laughs out loud and calls her an idiot and Shay's all "Oh gee thanks for having my back ya jerk" and Rafferty just tugs her closer and kisses her right on the mouth and then Shay's like "yep, yeah, definitely an idiot. how long have you-" and Rafferty just kisses her again because she's an adorable insecure idiot and it's the greatest thing ever

* * *

**Another ex of Shay's crosses paths with Shafferty and she's like super hot, badass chick and makes Rafferty feel a little insecure. What happens?**

I totally see Rafferty being territorial. Like this chick walks up and is like "Leslie, hey" and Shay's all hey back and hugs her but keeps her eyes on Rafferty the entire time, just like totally gauging her throughout the entirety of the encounter. And Shay introduces them like "this is my girlfriend and this is so and so and then just kinda casually goes like "we used to date a while back" and Rafferty just like sizes the chick up and just kinda nods and says oh, and then the ex is like "well you certainly got yourself a cute one" and Shay gets all defensive and just like starts talking her up first just agreeing and saying something like "when do I date ugly people?" or some shit but then going on and on about how awesome a paramedic Raff is and Rafferty just kinda getting this smug look and she never really gets a chance to be insecure in the moment because shay is just so proud.

* * *

**First time being intimate?**

Okay, let's see well there are a couple ways I see this. The first is the rough and tumble way I've mentioned before where the two of them just kind of lose control and end up boning fully clothed in a back room at Molly's. It doesn't really matter how they end up there, just that Shay's got Rafferty pressed against a wall and her mouth is on her neck and her hands are everywhere and Rafferty is loving every second of it. It's fast and hot and desperate and before either of them realize it Shay's popped the buttons on Raff's pants and is finger fucking her like there's no tomorrow and the dirty talk. Dear god the dirty talk. Shay's breathing into raff's ear and telling her how wet she is and how hot she is and Rafferty is just clinging to her and mouthing her neck and shoulder and then she can't take it anymore either and suddenly she's reaching for Shay's pants and it doesn't take long before they get each other off but they're interrupted before they can go again or take it to someone's bed and they both look just so incredibly freshly fucked and disheveled and Shay looks so fricken smug and yeah.

* * *

**Shafferty's been together a few months, Rafferty's fiancé's death anniversary comes…**

I think Rafferty doesn't mention it. I think she doesn't want to drag Shay down or for her to think that she hasn't fully moved on so she keeps quiet about it. But Shay knows something is up. She can tell Rafferty is being more quiet than usual but she's actually more clingy too. She holds on just a little bit tighter in the days leading up to the anniversary, snuggles just a little but closer and Shay suspects but she's not gonna bring it up if Rafferty doesn't first. But she does ask Kendra, to confirm her suspicions, and once she knows she goes out of her way to love her just a little more than usual. it's nothing obvious, just an extra kiss in the morning, more hugs throughout the day and whispered I love yous every chance she gets. and when the day finally comes Rafferty doesn't have to say anything other than "come with me". so they go to his grave and Shay stands back and let's Allison have all the time she needs and when she's ready she introduces Shay and tells her fiancé how amazing she is and how loved she is and how if she was ever going to end up with anyone other than him it only could've been her.

* * *

**Rafferty has a hobby that Shay would never have guessed and Raff was a little embarrassed**

Knitting. Shay shows up at Raff's during one of their days off and found her sitting on the couch with a ball of yarn and a couple needles absentmindedly working away on what looks like a hat of some kind. When Shay asks about it Rafferty says she picked it up while her fiancé was in the hospital to keep herself from going crazy, busy hands calm mind or something like that. A week later Rafferty gives Shay the finished hat as a gift. Shay wears it everyday straight for a month because and when Rafferty tells her to please stop Shay refuses because she's never had someone knit her anything before. she also tells everyone at the firehouse that Rafferty made it and when next Christmas rolls around Thanks to Gift requests Rafferty has a nice chunk of supplemental income she uses to buy Shay something extra special and far less warm *winkwink*

* * *

**GAME NIGHT!**

what do you mean game night? game night does nothing for me. It's like what are they sitting around playing fucking canasta drinking expensive scotch? I don't even know what canasta is but rafferty probably fucking does. And she probably puppy dog eyes Shay into learning it and so now they play like once a week and sometimes Shay brings home a cigar and it's quality too and Rafferty has no idea where she gets them, but she brings it home and smokes it while drinking scotch and playing canasta and it's probably the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen.

* * *

**Poker night with Severide, Lindsay, Dawson and Casey… Rafferty is REALLY good.**

They never play strip poker. Not ever. Not since the first time Rafferty came to poker night. She robbed them all blind, completely, well except for Shay. When Shay extended the invite Rafferty mentioned that she used to be quite the card shark and when Shay pressed for details Rafferty totally told her about this time in college when she destroyed the other people on her floor at a game of hold em and didn't have to eat cafeteria food for a month because of it. So Shay tells her to keep her mouth shut about it and she promises not to say anything either and then Rafferty just completely wipes the floor with everyone. The best part is, though, that Shay totally could have given her a run for her money because she figures out Rafferty's tell after only like two hands. It's probably because she stares at her face all the time and also that she's become so accustomed to reading her like a book (in brail, with her fingers) she practically has her memorized. But yeah, they never play strip poker. Because they'd rather be robbed of their money than their dignity.

* * *

**Puppy sitting! Rafferty is puppy sitting and calls Shay to help because she's bored.**

Yes, okay, this I can do. Because dog sitting is probably the easiest job there is. Like, you go to someone else's place, take care of their pet, eat their food, and get paid for it. And Rafferty really wants a dog (that's why she used a dog with the runs as an excuse when that attorney was looking for Shay) but because of her job it's really not a good idea because she'd be gone for huge chunks of time and it wouldn't be fair to the pet so when her friends go out of town for a weekend she volunteers to watch their dogs. This weekend it's a pitbull mix and a heeler mix and they're totally awesome. So she takes them for their morning run and makes herself coffee and goes about her routine but it's mid day and she's still restless and so are the dogs so she calls Shay and asks if she wants to go with her to take the dogs to a park and Shay is gives her the runaround but Rafferty knows she's just being lazy and is probably still in bed even though it's after noon. So Rafferty shows up at Shay's with both the dogs and Severide lets her in so she just points them in the direction of Shay's room and they go flying through the door and up onto her bed and after a startled scream Shay just yells out an amused but trying to sound angry "Allison!" and when she makes it to the room she finds Shay sitting up, hair all mussed, with two dogs in her lap and she's just like "well come on then. you're here, you might as well get in too."

* * *

**Drinking. They just spend a night watching a show they both like and make a drinking game out of it and they end up getting drunk.**

They agree to each pick a movie for the other to watch. They don't have to be good or anything, they're just bored and think it would be amusing to see each other's taste in movies. Rafferty goes first as Shay pours them each a whiskey neat. Rafferty picks the silence of the lambs and it's pretty enjoyable but by the end Shay is still pretty bored. She suggests that this time they make it more interesting and make a drinking game out of whatever film she picks. Allison agrees. Big mistake. Huge. Shay decides to make Raff watch a lesbian film and knows exactly which one to pick: "And then Came Lola" It's decent, as far as the niche genre goes but it's the drinking game part it's perfect for. She starts listing the rules for when to drink but saves the best one for last, "Drink every time someone says the name Lola". They shake on the terms and start the film. Four minutes later the film is paused and they're both doubled over in laughter, empty glasses on the table next to them.

* * *

**planning a party. it's… Severide's birthday and Rafferty promised Shay she'd help set up. Shay is panicking because the guys she rented the keg from are running really late**

Onto the party planning thing. I think Rafferty would be there strictly for moral support. Like, she's cool with everyone from the firehouse but she really doesn't know Severide all that well so she made Shay do almost all of the planning and kind of just sat back and made supportive remarks whenever she felt they were needed. When it hits crunch time Shay is the farthest from relaxed Rafferty's ever seen her. People are supposed to get there in an hour and the keg still hasn't arrived and Shay isn't sure when she should put the food in the oven because she doesn't want to wait too long but she also doesn't want it to be cold by the time people get there. Rafferty tries to calm her down, she calls the keg guys and gets their word they'll be there in 30 minutes tops, but she's still running around all frazzled so Rafferty decides distraction is the better tactic and ends up making out with her until the guys show up with the keg. And then again after.

* * *

**Rafferty's youngest sister comes for a visit and she introduces her to Shay.**

Um… Rafferty's little sister is still in college, but they look almost identical. Like creepily so. Shay shows up at Rafferty's early, not realizing her little sister is already there and totally outs her by letting herself in and yelling "Honey I'm home". I mean, she doesn't really out out her because her family has kind of always thought she was gay and she'd told her sister she wanted to introduce her to Leslie but she hadn't explicitly stated that Shay was her girlfriend. So shay walks in and both Rafferties turn around and Shay is like oh, did I ruin the surprise and Allison just sighs and shakes her head and her little sister is just like damn sis you have good taste and shay is just like holy crap there are two of you. And they totally all get along great and Shay actually really latches onto the idea of being an older sister and by the end of the night she's basically adopted mini rafferty as her own sibling and is giving her all kinds of dating/romance tips and Allison is just laughing her ass off and questioning Shay's ability to give advice about guys and Shay is just like shush I'm imparting wisdom and it's just a whole bunch of loving familial hilarity.

* * *

**Shay meets and older brother!**

Shay is terrified of meeting Rafferty's older brother. Like, legitimately terrified. She's not sure why, Raff has told her multiple times that he's super laid back and easy going but Shay still changes outfits three times and keeps trying to sneak drinks when Allison isn't looking. But when he finally gets there Shay relaxes. Because he is sweet and although he's very tall and kind of physically imposing he makes her think of a big ol' teddy bear. He tells her thank you, because he's never seen his sister so happy but he also gives her the you hurt her I hurt you speech. Shay decides she's going to hug him and tells him so and when they do she realizes he really is a big ol' teddy bear.

* * *

**Something Shay is afraid of and Rafferty thinks it's cute, until Shay almost has a panic attack…**

Fucking spiders. Rafferty is completely unphased by them, she's more afraid of things without legs like snakes and fish and eels, but Shay is absolutely terrified. Tiny ones aren't so bad, she can kill those herself but if their bigger than a centimeter or two that's when the trouble starts. She can't get within like 4 feet of them or she starts retching and if she actually has to find a way to kill them (because she's the only one home) she throws up every time. It's a combination of being terrified she might accidentally touch it and the crunching sound it's body makes she smashes it. So Rafferty teaches her how to shoot rubber bands really well. Like the strong thick rubber bands that really snap and have good pull to them. And she teaches her to hit moving targets and now whenever Rafferty isn't there to save her Shay can shoot the spiders from across the room and make someone else clean them up later.

Shay teases Rafferty about her former "homophobia" every time Rafferty teases her about spiders. it's kind of a "aw you're so afraid of the tiny thing" "aw you're so afraid of guys with fashion sense" trade off but it always shuts her up.

* * *

**Someone in Rafferty's family is not cool with her dating a woman.**

It's her mom. It's definitely her mom. Her siblings couldn't care less and her dad has made it clear he just wants her to be happy, but her mom just can't wrap her head around it. She loved Allison's fiancé, was so happy he was going to be her son-in-law, and is completely baffled as to why her daughter would suddenly think she was gay when she was head over heels and set to marry a man just a year before. But Allison brings Shay to family dinner anyway. Her siblings welcome her with open arms, especially the ones who've met her before, and her father sizes her up before nodding his silent approval. Her mom tries really hard to dislike Shay, like really hard, but she just can't do it. Because Shay has a good steady job and a beautiful face and she wants to settle down and have kids some day and there is nothing about her that would indicate she's been or would be bad for her daughter in any way. So when they leave she gives Shay a hug and tells them both to show up again next week if they're not working.


	12. Headcanon Vomit (Part II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another installment of my headcanon vomit for your reading pleasure. As always, I am open to headcanon or drabble prompts so hit me up if you'd like. Blame all of this on Maxi.

**visiting Rafferty's grandparents in NY… But I wanna know how they road trip it mostly…**

I think Shay would probably drive most of the way but Rafferty would 100% be the one to drive in the city because it's fucking terrifying if you've never done it before. I think on the way there they would bicker over music somewhat though they probably have grown to appreciate each other's tastes. But there's always that one song the other loves that they hate and it always gets cranked so loud while whoever likes it sings along and it's almost always followed by an "I love you" "I hate you" situation. Then there are the songs that they sing together. Especially the ones from their childhoods and tween years. Like Backstreet Boys and Spice Girls. And when they get tired of music they just sit in comfortable silence, Leslie reaching across the center console to hold Allison's hand while she steers with the other. Sometimes Shay asks about Rafferty's grandparents so she can be a little more prepared but mostly they just share anecdotes about themselves, nothing super important just little stories about the time Shay skinned her knee playing baseball with the neighborhood boys or the time Allison accidentally stole a twinkie from the neighborhood convenience store. When they finally get into the city and Allison is driving, things get a little tense with Shay gasping or saying lookout every time Rafferty cuts into a different lane or forces them through traffic with a hand plastered to the horn. Rafferty has to tell her to shut up a few times but as soon as she's clear of whatever situation she's navigating she always apologizes and reaches over to give Shay's leg a comforting squeeze.

Hey guess what I have more to add to the road trip to meet the grandparents headcanon! Okay so, they get in super late and Rafferty told her grandparents to just go to sleep and they'd let themselves in and everything so that's what they do and Raff leads them quietly to the guest room without turning on any lights and they just kinda get settled and pass out because they're tired. Rafferty wakes up first in the morning and hears her grandparents so she gets up and says hi and grabs a cup of coffee before heading back to their room. She climbs back into bed but stays sitting up so she can drink her coffee and read a book and as soon as she's settled Shay kinda rolls over so her head is in raff's lap but she stays asleep for like another fifteen minutes or so. When she does finally wake up she's confused at first because she's nuzzling into Allison's hip instead of her shoulder but she looks up all sleepy eyed and cute and sees rafferty in her pjs and glasses drinking coffee and reading and it's the most sickeningly domestic situation ever and Shay just says morning and raff smiles down and says it back and then sets her book and coffee on the bedside table and wiggles back down into the bed and Shay just snuggles right into her arms and kisses her good morning and tells her she wishes they could do this every morning and Allison just smiles and kisses her again and Shay rolls on top of her and asks how thin the walls are and Rafferty sighs and says too thin so Shay asks if her grandparents are hard of hearing and Raff says not at all and then Shay pouts but she also just takes the time to look at Allison's face and she's just so beautiful that Leslie has to kiss her again and then she settles down onto her and they just lay like that for a few minutes until shay asks if she thinks they're going to like her and raff is just like they're gonna love you as much as I do and shay is like "okay" and raff asks if she's ready to meet them and Shay nods against her chest and so they get up but before Shay gets to the door Rafferty stops her and just kisses her again and tells her she loves her and shay says she loves her too and then they go out all adorable holding hands and it's all just perfect.

* * *

**Rafferty's playing a soccer game with some friends because she's on a rec team, she twists her ankle.**

Okay, so Rafferty spraining her ankle would be something to see because you know she's a stubborn shit that refuses to admit anything is wrong. So she like goes down and immediately hops back up but is hobbling like an idiot and her run is more of a waddle and her teammates are like dude take a sub and she just waves them off like "nah bro I'm fine I would know I'm a paramedic" and right about then Shay shows up and asks someone why she's limping and they tell her and Shay just goes full on soccer mom and like walks onto the field and puts her arms up like "what the hell" and Rafferty hobbles over and tells her to get off the field before she gets hurt and Shay's like "I'd say the same to you but apparently it's too late for that are you gonna let me look at it" and Rafferty concedes reluctantly and hobbles off with Shay and then gets benched the rest of the game and just sits on the bench pouting with Shay all wrapped around her yelling insults at the other team.

* * *

**Shay's learning how ice skate, because she never learned and Rafferty is trying to teach her.**

Ice skating wise it's actually really adorable. Rafferty just kinda leads Shay around the ice by the hands like you would a little kid. Raff skates backwards the entire time and Shay is so worried she's going to run over someone or fall that she forgets about her own nervousness and actually ends up skating on her own without realizing it after the first couple of laps. When Rafferty points it out to her Shay gets all excited and giggly and so Rafferty skates up to her and wraps her arms around her waist and tells her it's time to try something more complex and starts making Shay go backwards but that fails almost immediately and ends with Shay on her butt and Rafferty on top of her and Shay is just like "ow my ass" and Raff is just all trying to turn her on her side saying "well let me check" and Shay is slapping at her like "stop" and Raff gets up and pulls Shay up with her and immediately turns her so she can see her ass and is just all "looks great" and then leslie shoves her over.

* * *

**There's a call to a car accident, a bicyclist was hit but so was a dog and no one seems to be too concerned about the dog… Except Rafferty.**

I can't really figure out how the dog/cyclist thing would work because if the dog was okay it probably would've run off and if it was bad then someone would be all over that shit. And it's Raff's job to treat the human first, like she has to make sure he's good and get him the best care and then to the hospital so I just don't see her being able to step away and check on an injured dog unless the cyclist is coherent and concerned enough to be like "is the dog okay?" and then she says she'll check and takes it from there.

* * *

**Shafferty are trying to put together an entertainment center, but they're totally girls about it and Rafferty teases Shay because Shay isn't a stereotypical lesbian in that department.**

Shay is good with her hands but sucks with tools. Like, really sucks. It's probably partly because she's bad at following directions. So when they decide to forego the $50 assembly fee on their entertainment center it's really not a good decision. Rafferty just assumes Shay will be good at this shit because, lesbians are good at it, or are supposed to be or something. And Shay assumes Rafferty is good at putting things together because she's the one who suggested they do it themselves. So they get everything out and laid out across the floor and then they both look at each other and are waiting for the other to make a move and so Shay's like "so how does this work" and Raff is like "you're supposed to be the one that's good at this" and Shay just laughs and laughs and laughs and texts Dawson and tells her to come over and bring casey.

* * *

**Shafferty are at a bar, not Molly's, it's more of a club and they get slightly harassed by dudes cat calling them.**

So Shafferty is at a nightclub because Shay wants to dance but she also doesn't feel like running into everyone and their mother so she decides to forgo their usual spot and go to a different club instead. It's fine at first and the drinks are cheaper so they get themselves a couple of drinks and then Shay drags Raff to the dance floor and they just dance next to each other at first but in less than a minute they are all up on each other dancing and grinding and being all handsy and some dude is totally leering at them from the bar and when they break to get more drinks after another song or two he totally just sidles up to them all expectantly and offers to buy their drinks and Shay is just like "I don't accept drinks from strangers" and when he looks at Raff she's like "same, sorry". But he doesn't get it and is just like "why not" and Shay is just like "just walk away it's not gonna happen" and he's all "is this a you have to buy me dinner first thing or a lesbian thing" and Rafferty nearly chokes on her drink and Shay just slips her arm around her and says "the second one" and they go find a corner and canoodle

* * *

**Rafferty's sister gets into a car accident, Shay tries to calm her down to take her to the hospital…**

Okay so, Rafferty would totally get the news while on shift. They'd be on their way back from a call and Raff's phone would go off and since shay's driving she'd answer and Shay would just see her blanche and without a word she'd be on the radio telling dispatch to send a backup ambo to 51 and to take them off the active roster for at least an hour because for Rafferty to look the way she does it has to be something bad. When Allison hangs up she doesn't look ahead, just keeps her eyes straight forward and tells Shay which hospital to go to so she flips on the sirens and gets them there as fast as she can. It's not until they get there that Rafferty tells Shay what's going on and even then it's broken and vague because all she says through teary eyes is "my sister" and it takes 5 minutes of Rafferty crying in her arms for Shay to hear the part about a driver running a red and t-boning her sister's car. They make it inside and little Rafferty is still in surgery but her whole family is there and while Shay is terrified for her surrogate little sister she also feels kind of like she's intruding, at least until Allison's brother comes over and wraps her up in a crushing hug. They all wait together for another hour until they get the news from the surgeon that they were able to repair the damage and that while she had a long recovery ahead of her she was gonna be a-ok. And then while their parents go back to sit with her Allison just molds herself to Shay and breathes out all of her tension and worry and Shay just holds her and rubs her back and thanks god Allison didn't just lose someone else.

* * *

**Shafferty is training for a half marathon. Who's the athlete and who's the whiner?**

Shay is most definitely the whiner. Not because she's out of shape or incapable of running a half marathon she just doesn't see the point. She'll go to a gym and put in a workout because "every one benefits from [her] having a toned ass" but the whole long distance for fun thing is not what she's about. Rafferty pushes though. She pushes hard. And she gets her way. Withholding sex is an excellent incentive.

* * *

**They're at a bar and a woman asks for a cigarette. Shafferty doesn't smoke so of course they say they don't have any. Bar bitch gets irrationally pissed and gets physical with them.**

She asks Rafferty first and She says no. She does it politely, an "I'm sorry but I don't smoke" but the lady is clearly already in a bad mood and she just kind of huffs as she looks past raff to shay. She says "what bout you? You look like you suck down a few cigs a day" and Shay's eyes go wide and she says "excuse me" and the lady asks if she can bum a cigarette and Shay says she doesn't smoke and that's when shit hits the fan. The cigarette lady just starts ranting about how no one will give her a damn cigarette and how skinny bitch over there is lying because she's just selfish and she makes a dig at Shay's hair calling her a bottled blonde (which she is and it doesn't actually bother her) with two brain cells saying she's probably too dumb to smoke without help anyway and probably has to have her boyfriend carry her smokes for her and Rafferty just fucking loses it. She gets right up in the lady's face and tells her to back the fuck off before she makes her and the lady just laughs and tells her to "go ahead and try sweetcheeks I could snap you like a twig" and Rafferty just goads her on like "Oh yeah well you're welcome to try. go ahead. take a swing. I'm sure all the firefighters and cops I save every day would love to hear all about how you kicked my ass" And then the lady is like "bringing the cops into this, you can't finish it yourself?" and Raff just goes "I don't have to finish it, I keep you shouting for another minute and you'll be so out of breath from your precious little smoking habit it'll finish itself" and the lady starts to reply but starts hacking instead and Rafferty just stands there all smug as the lady says fuck you and leaves.

* * *

**I wanna see an actual, physical altercation! I can't think of a situation tho. Between Shay and Raff, who's the one more likely to throw a punch? Who HAS thrown a real punch?**

And as far as an actual physical altercation, they've both decked people before. Guaranteed. Shay punches Severide all the time just cuz he's an idiot but she's also decked her share of other people too. Territorial dudes, territorial chicks, she's had to defend herself and others before and she'd do it again in a heartbeat.

And Rafferty's confidence has to come from somewhere. No one is born with swagger like that, she fucking earned the right to walk like a fucking Bamf. Maybe it was during a sporting event or maybe some dickhead was picking on one of her siblings but she's drawn blood before without a doubt.

If it were to happen now it would totally be to save shay's and possibly her own ass. Like the time Dawson kicked that dude off the back of the ambo, Rafferty would absolutely get physical to protect them. But I can also see her becoming a defensive/confrontational drunk, so maybe one night someone is having a house party and she's drinking and she has a little too much and someone starts giving her (or shay or the pair of them) shit and they play it off like a joke but she is just not having it because she fucking knows they're being serious and one of the guys who has also had too much to drink tells Shay to call off her bitch and Shay's face is like oh shit you done fucked up because she can't even get out a warning before Rafferty lays his ass out.

* * *

**One of Rafferty's brothers is a total homophobe and basically tells her never to call him again… How does she react and how does Shay support?**

Okay, let's see. He doesn't know she's seeing anyone and he runs into her at a bar one night and Shay is with her. He actually sees Shay first, because she's at the bar getting drinks while Allison sits at a table top so they don't lose it and he hits on her hard. Shay, because she has no idea who he is and just thinks he's a creep, tells him she's not interested and she's here with her girlfriend. She gets her drinks and heads back to their table and he watches her. That's when he sees his sister. He grabs a beer and then crashes their table. Raff sees him first and she jumps up to give him a hug and Shay is super confused and hates the look he's giving her over Allison's shoulder. But Shay plays nice at first, saying hi when Raff introduces them, but then he says something that throws them both. He says, "If I'd known you meant friend who was a chick I wouldn't have given up so easily when you blew me off at the bar, I thought you were a fucking dyke for a second there." He laughs it off but Shay is pissed and Rafferty looks like she's about to be sick. Shay speaks up first and says she wasn't joking and he laughs again saying that his sister isn't a fucking lesbian and Shay's eyes go straight to Allison's and she looks terrified and Shay's ready to take it all back and say they're just friends to get them out of this situation but he starts in before she has a chance. Apparently he picked up on his sister's stunned silence because he's staring at her and asking her if she's serious and telling her she can't be serious and that she's fucking disgusting and no sister of his would ever be gay and Shay has had enough and shoves him out of the way and kind of scoops her out of her chair and shuffles her out of the bar while he hurls slurs at them as they leave. Rafferty pukes in the street while Shay holds her hair and tells her she's sorry and she didn't know and she'll do whatever Allison needs and she just wants to go home and go to bed and forget this ever happened but her phone goes off and it's a text from her brother saying to delete his number because she's dead to him and she's in tears now and Shay wants to go back in and kill him with her bare hands but Allison is clinging to her like the entire world will disappear if she lets go so Shay just points them towards her apartment and they start the long walk home.

* * *

**Oh… This one is vague… It's laundry day and… one of them hates it.**

But.. but.. they both love laundry day. Laundry day was the day Rafferty realized Leslie really did care and that she had someone she could count on. Laundry day is the day she always jokes was the first time Shay told her she loved her, because no she didn't say it, but she did say I'm here and that meant just as much. Plus it's the anniversary of the first time they hugged and Shay will never let Rafferty live down the fact that she initiated it. The self professed "homophobe" hugged her first. And Rafferty always gives Shay shit about her flannels even though she really doesn't have that many. But they really do love laundry day. They both put on their comfiest clothes and just stay at home all lazy and comfy and warm and find ways to pass the time while their clothes get clean which is funny because they're usually getting dirty, and Laundry day is always a great day. Especially when the dryer buzzes and Shay yells "Hot Pants" and runs over and slips on a warm pair of sweats while Allison watches amused from the couch.

* * *

**Rafferty reads a lot of medical journals/books and has hardly ever read fiction. Shay convinces her to read something…**

For as cocky and cool as Rafferty appears she is actually the biggest nerd in the universe. She reads research journals for fun. Like, screw cosmo she's got a subscription to scientific american, and her dvr is full of "Cosmos" episodes and "National Geographic" specials and all that shit. It's actually bordering on ridiculous but she's so damn smart because of it and her mind turns Shay on just as much as her body and considering how amazing her body is that is definitely saying something. But Shay kind of can't take it when Rafferty misses another pop culture reference at Trivia night so she sits her down one day and hands her a present that just so happens to be the complete Harry Potter collection because she knows for a fact Allison has never read them. Rafferty thinks it's sweet but she protests saying she really doesn't have time to read seven books so Shay tells her to just try the first one so she agrees and that night Rafferty settles down with sorcerer's stone and she's still reading when Shay falls asleep. And when Shay wakes up Rafferty is still sitting next to her a full three chapters into chamber of secrets and Shay just kisses her on the cheek and sighs because she's pretty sure she's not gonna get laid again until Rafferty has finished the entire series.

* * *

**One of them is a big wimp when it comes to scary movies, whereas the other loves them. One night, a marathon of… Friday the 13th, lets say, comes on and there is no way *so-and-so* is missing it, even if the other is screaming and clutching an arm the entire time.**

Oh god, it's Rafferty. It is so Rafferty. She loves this shit, lives for this shit. Halloween is her favorite time of year because all the scary movie marathons come on and she spends all of her free time eating candy and watching people get murdered and she's just so giddy about it. But it makes Shay cringe. She can't stand it. All the blood and gore and jump scares that give her nightmares. But she wants to spend time with Allison and unfortunately that means spending time with her taste in movies so she just sits there all tense and her arm is gripping Raff's so tight there are probably gonna be finger shaped bruises there in the morning but Allison looks so happy and every now and then she leans over and gives Shay a thank you kiss and at one point even goes so far as to tell her that she never has to worry about something like this happening to them because Rafferty has seen all the tricks in the book and is completely prepared to vanquish any monsters or murderers or whatever evil doers might come to cause them harm. Ironically Shay finds that far from comforting and insists they watch at least an hour of the Puppy Bowl that takes up permanent residence on their dvr every night before bed.

* * *

**What happened after Shay raffled off those hockey tickets?**

The only reason Rafferty even showed up for the raffle was because Shay asked her to. But then she has to sit there all night with the guys while Shay works and it's not that she dislikes them she just would rather be shooting the breeze with her former partner. As soon as the Raffle is over though Shay clocks out and starts making the rounds with her friends, going table to table saying hey and all that. And Rafferty is kinda pissed that Shay hasn't been by yet until she realizes that Shay is saving her table for last so she can actually stay for a bit. When she finally gets there she just leans her head on Allison's shoulder and complains about how tired she is so Raff just rubs Shay's back a little and tells her to suck it up and that earns her a good hard shove and an irresistible pout. So irresistible apparently that when Shay says she wants to walk home Rafferty volunteers to walk with her if she can get a cab from Shay's place. So they end up walking to Shay's in the freezing cold talking about Rafferty's plans for what she's gonna do while on suspension and at some point, because it's so damn cold, they end up huddled close, arms linked, and when they finally get to the apartment Shay insists Rafferty come inside and warm up until her cab gets there but they end up pouring vodka in their cocoa and Allison forgets to call a cab so Shay tells her just to stay. She offers to make up the couch but warns that Otis and Severide are loud and obnoxious and Rafferty starts to think maybe she should call a cab after all but Shay makes a joke about how if Allison weren't afraid of cooties she could just crash with her and Raff just turns and walks straight into Shay's room and climbs into her bed leaving Shay standing in the living room confused. Rafferty yells at her to get her butt in there so Shay follows her lead and climbs into bed next to her after closing the door and hitting the light. Shay lies stiff as a board afraid to move but Allison puts her at ease when she tells her "goodnight" and "thank you" and "if I wake up to you spooning me in the morning you're buying me breakfast and paying for my cab home after" and Shay can't help but laugh because spooning and breakfast sound absolutely wonderful to her.


	13. Advice & Vinyl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: Rafferty decides she wants to pursue Shay, she doesn't want to talk to Severide about it so she asks Clarke for advice.
> 
> a/n: The second part of this is based on mine and Maxi's headcanon that Rafferty loves old blues and jazz. The specific songs and album referenced here are from Billie Holiday's "Stormy Blues".

25 isn't all that different from the other firehouses in which you've worked, but walking into it now, it's strangely terrifying. Your fear though, has nothing to do with work - since you're not here for business - and everything to do with what you're about to admit.

It's been several months since your suspension was lifted and you started back at 51 and it's given you and Shay plenty of time to build on the weird but comfortable friendship you'd started to develop. What you hadn't expected though, was for that friendship to develop further, and to find yourself wondering night after night what it would be like to feel her lips on yours. So you decide to ask for advice and drive all the way out to 25 to get it. Dawson still isn't all that fond of you and Severide is terrible with this sort of thing so you figure Clarke is your best bet, despite the fact you barely see him around anymore.

He eyes you wearily as you walk into the common area and acknowledges you with a nod as he stands.

"Rafferty, right," he asks, directing you back towards his office.

You nod in confirmation but follow him silently, thankful when he shuts the door behind you.

"So, uh, what brings you by 25?"

A part of you wants to blurt it out, to rip off the awkwardness like a bandaid, but the rest of you is too terrified so you settle for easing into it.

"I, um, I need some advice," It comes out sounding like a question but you soldier on anyway in spite of your nervousness. "About Shay. I know you guys were, are, friends so I thought…"

You trail off, hoping Clarke doesn't need more justification than that.

"Yeah," he offers. "Why not? What's up? Is she okay?"

"Oh, yeah," you reply. "She's great. I'm seeing her tonight, actually."  
"You guys friends now," he asks, a small smile on his face. "I heard you were back at 51."

You nod. "Mmhmm. We hang out. Listen to records, watch Netflix. Drink."

You can't stop nodding. Clarke notices.

"Are you alright, um-"

He's searching for your first name so you give it to him, "Allison."

"Allison," He parrots it back to you. "Are you okay?"

You open your mouth to reply but after a long bout of nothing all that comes out is a sad little laugh.

"It's funny, actually, I uh," you pause, thankful you finally managed any words at all. "I have… feelings, for Shay."

You leave it at that and look everywhere but Clarke's face, terrified he's going to laugh in yours. But he doesn't. He just grins and shakes his head.

"And you want to know how to tell her," he finishes for you.

You nod again and rub your temples, chuckling softly at the absurdity of the situation.

"So," he begins. "What'd you say you're doing tonight?"

* * *

You're both stretched across your couch, feet poking playfully at each other, and you think everything is going well so far. Dinner had been simple, steak and wine, and you'd listened to records while making small talk just like you usually do when you don't have a shift the next day. But now you've got two songs left before you have to make your move and your nerves are starting to get to you. Shay can tell something is up but she knows you well enough not to say anything and for that you are very grateful.

You clear your throat and stand under the guise of going to the kitchen for more wine, but what you're really doing is taking a second to breathe and gather yourself one more time. Your timing is perfect when you return to the living room, the A side of the record you'd been playing coming to an end, so you walk over and flip it, grinning as the first notes of "Please Don't Talk About Me When I'm Gone" fill the air.

You start bopping to the beat, wine still in hand, and make faces at Shay as you do. It earns you a smile and you return it with ease.

"I feel like dancing," you say, and round the couch to set your glass down on the coffee table before extending your hand to Shay. "Care to join me?"

She laughs at first, and shakes her head, but takes your hand anyway and lets you pull her up. Thankfully, the song is upbeat enough that you can just kind of spin each other around the room laughing and pretending you know how to swing until the song ends, at which point you kind of just fall into each other laughing and out of breath. It's kind of perfect actually, because it lets you keep her close when the next song starts. You worry she might pull away when she realizes what song it is, but she just rolls her eyes and drapes her arms around your neck as you start swaying to "It had to be you".

It doesn't take long before the space between you disappears. Shay tucks herself into you, head resting gingerly on your shoulder, and you know this is your moment. You start softly, singing along to one of the verses as you keep swaying together and steadily your confidence grows. You move your mouth closer to her ear, lightly grazing your nose against her neck before singing directly to her, "Some others I've seen, might never be mean, might never be cross, or try to be boss, but they wouldn't do…"

You can feel her chuckle against your skin and you fight the smile threatening your lips, knowing it's going to take all you have to finish the next line.

"For nobody else, gave me a thrill, with all your faults I love you still, it had to be you, wonderful you, it had to be you."

You feel her move against you as the song continues on, though your part is finished, but before you can say a word her lips are on yours.

Her kiss is soft and it's sweet and it's knowing, and you wonder how long she's been waiting for you to find your courage. You don't dwell on it long though, letting yourself get lost in the press of her body and the taste of her mouth. It's not until she pulls away that you realize you never stopped dancing.

"You could've just told me, you know," she breathes, resting her forehead against yours.

"Yeah, well, Clarke said to make it romantic."

The laugh that leaves Shay's mouth is loud and jovial, "You asked Clarke for advice?"

You swat at her arm and tell her to shut it, but she just tugs you closer.

"No, hey. Come here."

She wraps her arms around you again and pecks your lips, "It's just that Clarke is kinda terrible with women and when he asked me for help a few months back I pretty much just told him to be romantic and he'd be fine."

You make the connection quickly in your own head and find yourself suddenly laughing about it too.

"So I got advice on how to tell you, from you, is what you're-"

She cuts you off with another kiss. "Yup."

"It's pretty good advice then," you mumble, lips still on hers.

She chuckles breathily.

"Damn right it is."

 


	14. U and Ur Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maxi and I were discussing the chemistry of certain actors on the show and I said “Lauren could have chemistry with a sock if she wanted” and well… this happened.

“Okay, no. No, no, no, no, that’s totally wrong.”

Shay is shaking her head adamantly from her place on the couch and doing her best to explain to your younger brother the most surefire ways to get women to say yes to a date. You’d been in the living room with them when the conversation began but as soon as you heard the word sex leave your brother’s mouth you’d excused yourself to “work on dinner”.

You’re watching them from the kitchen now and seeing them getting on so well brings a smile to your face; a smile that quickly disappears when Shay starts to beckon you over.

“Hey, come here a second,” she calls, her hand extended as if you’re actually going to go take it.

“I’m good,” you reply, taking a sip of your beer.

She refuses to give in, “No, come on, I need someone to flirt with so your brother can see what I’m talking about.”

You nearly choke on the beer in your mouth and you suddenly notice that your brother is hiding his face.

“Oh yeah," you counter. "I’m sure he wants to know exactly how you get in my pants night after night.”

“Too much,” he shouts, sending both you and Shay into an amused fit of laughter.

She catches your eye after a minute and pouts, but you just shake your head no and cross your arms defiantly. You can’t help but grin when she sighs in defeat only to perk up a second later.

“Don’t worry,” she tells your brother. “I got this.”

You watch as she climbs off the couch and runs into your bedroom, though she stays over enough it might as well be both of yours at this point. When she returns she has a tube sock on her hand and you bite back your laughter as she sits down again, completely serious.

“Okay when I say eye contact I mean like this,” she says, gazing lovingly at her socked hand. The look on your brother’s face is priceless.

“Hey,” Shay snaps, catching him sharing a look with you. “Pay attention okay? None of that weak ass eye ducking shit is gonna work, okay?”

He nods.

“You gotta look at her eyes and nod and smile...”

You smile too, seeing Shay look at her sock the way she usually looks at you, and you think your brother may actually learn something yet.

“Now you gotta read the situation, okay, like, if she’s receptive and playing with her hair wait for a strand of it to fall and then just…” She reaches up and brushes pretend hair from her sock puppet’s face and that sends you over the edge, your laughter echoing through the entirety of your apartment.

“Hey I asked you to do this with me first,” Shay says, defending herself with a glare.

“Oh no,” you offer. “Please, continue. I can feel the static electricity from here.”

Your brother snorts into his hand as he bites back a laugh.

“I mean really, there’s a spark between you two.”

You can tell Shay’s about to crack. Her tongue is in her cheek and her head is shaking slowly back and forth.

“I for one know I’ll be shocked if you two don’t end up together."

And that's what does it. Shay’s off the couch in a flash, sock balled up and launched at your head as you take off down the hall with a squeal.

“Cover your eyes, Junior,” she calls behind her. “I’m about to kill your sister!”


	15. What is it about you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Original Dialogue Prompt: "What is it about you?"

You can’t stop staring. Not this morning. Not with the way the light is peeking through the blinds only to fall on her face just right, so as not to wake her but to highlight every perfect feature.

“You’re staring,” she breathes.

Her eyes are still closed and for a moment you wonder how you hadn’t even realized she was awake, but then you remember. It’s her sixth sense, you think, because she always knows, even from across the room, when you’re watching.

She smiles now, eyes still shut, and it takes everything you have not to lean over and kiss her. The serenity of the morning is a rarity for you both and for the first time in weeks you have an entire day to simply be. So you wait.

“You’re still staring,” she says, her voice already losing it’s tired husk.

“I can’t help it.”

She opens her eyes then, her long lashes parting in a series of blinks, a tiny yawn tugging at her mouth as her eyes finally meet yours. You share a moment of silence, a moment of wordless adoration and tacit promises, and the smile on your face grows wider.

“What is it about you?”

The words leave your lips without your knowledge and you blush when you realize you’ve said them out loud. But she doesn’t tease you or laugh, she doesn’t even bother with a smartass reply; instead, she just leans forward and presses her lips to yours and all you can feel, all you know, is love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my ship. It will not sink. Canon or otherwise.


	16. Severide and the Angry Lesbian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: One of Shay's oldest friends is an angry lesbian that Hates Severide

 

"Come on, Shay, please?"

"No. I'm not talking about it anymore."

You watch from the kitchen, a casual and amused bystander, as Severide begs Shay to change her mind for the umpteenth time today.

She'd told you last week that an old friend of hers from high school was coming to town for a visit and would be staying in Otis' vacated room and after she confirmed that no, they had not dated and that she was like a sister more than anything else you'd allowed yourself to be excited to meet her. Knowing Severide didn't want her around was just icing on the cake; the two of you get along fine for the most part, but there's just something about seeing him so incredibly uncomfortable that puts a smile on your face.

"Leslie," he pleads, and you can tell by the look on your girlfriend's face it's still not working. "Come on. She hates me. Why does she have to stay here?"

"Because we have the room and I haven't seen her in over a year."

Shay walks towards you now, rolling her eyes when she hears Kelly hot on her heels.

"Rafferty, can you back me up here please?"

You're surprised he's bringing you into this but you know your answer instantly, "And take sides against my girlfriend? You gotta be kidding me."

Shay dons a smug grin as she leans into your side.

"Plus," you continue. "I'm actually looking forward to meeting Jill. She sounds awesome."

And truly she did. When Leslie first brought it up to Severide that Jill was coming to visit you hadn't understood why he'd reacted so severely, but a couple quick anecdotes later and you were more than ready to meet this woman yourself.

"Severide didn't know she was gay when he first met her," she'd told you. "He hit on her all night at this party and no matter how many times she said no he wouldn't back off. She ended up kneeing him right in the goods and they've hated each other ever since."

Now you're only a matter of minutes from seeing Jill and Kelly clash in person and you'd be lying if you said you weren't giddy.

"Kelly, she's staying here whether you like it or not and she's already in a cab from the airport," Shay states. "Suck it up."

The intercom buzzes as if on cue and you fight everything inside of you that wants to squeal at the theatrics you hope you're about to witness.

When the door finally opens and Jill steps inside she is the epitome of a boss ass bitch: raven black hair, piercing blue eyes, and eyebrows that tell you she'd happily kill anyone that got in her way. No wonder Kelly looks like he's about to shit his pants.

You watch from your perch in the kitchen as Shay and Jill hug it out, smiling when Jill catches your eye over Leslie's shoulder.

"Is that RiffRaff," she asks and you blush ten thousand shades of red.

"You told her about that?"

It was a silly thing really, a one off comment from Shay when you'd gotten partnered together for a shift a few months back. All she'd done was say "What up RiffRaff?" but your negative reaction to the name was all she needed to dub it your new official title. She deserves a little credit though, for making it her own personal nickname for you and not letting anyone else in on it's existence, but now it seems she's finally let it slip.

"Sorry," Shay offers with a halfhearted shrug.

"Don't worry," Jill assures you, walking over to give you a hug. "I'll only tease you about it while I'm in town. Oh, hey Severfuck."

It's only his name and it's already the greatest thing you've ever witnessed.

Kelly nods, "Jill."

She gives him a once over and grins before turning back to you. "Sever-ride-a-dick and I go way back."

"So I've heard."

There is an awkwardness in the apartment now, but it only lasts a moment until Shay pipes up again, "Uh, hey, why don't I show you your room."

She grabs Jill's bags and starts leading her through the apartment, but things get good again as they pass by Kelly. Jill stops in front of him and looks down, staring pointedly at his crotch before looking back up.

"How're the family jewels," she taunts, walking away with a laugh.

He clenches his jaw, "Fuck you, Jill."

"Never gonna happen," she replies and disappears into the spare room behind Shay.

Severide turns to you then, "Do you see what I have to put up with?"

"I like her," is all you say in return.

Shay reemerges a moment later, a mildly sympathetic look on her face.

"She's just getting it out of her system, Kelly," she offers, rubbing a hand on his shoulder. "She hasn't seen you in over a year either."

He just grunts and shakes his head.

"And you," she begins, leaving Severide to come wrap you up in her arms. "You she wants to take to brunch."

You laugh at that.

"Oh really?"

"Yep. She's just freshening up and then the three of us are going for mimosas."

You hear Kelly's mumbled "thank god" from the other side of the kitchen but ignore it in favor of planting a kiss on Shay's lips.

"You ladies ready," Jill calls as she reappears.

You both nod in affirmation, grabbing your jackets as you make for the door.

"We'll be back in a bit, Kelly," Shay says as you all make your exit. "Call if you need anything, yeah?"

He just nods.

You're not three steps out the door when suddenly Jill turns back, claiming she'd forgotten something, and throws the door open again.

"Kelly is a girl's name," she shouts, tugging the door closed again instantly.

You bite your lip to keep from laughing when you hear something smash inside.


	17. How to Propose to a Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: shay proposes abruptly to rafferty, to show casey how it is done the right way
> 
> Casey's POV

 

"Come on, just practice on me."

Shay tugs on your arm and pulls you into your office, closing the door and the blinds behind you, "I don't need to practice, I know what I'm-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there, buddy," she interrupts, and you find yourself at her mercy not for the first time since you'd made her your wingwoman.

"Okay, Dawson is my best friend so you better do this right and the only way I'm going to know if you're doing it right is if you show me first so just… pretend I'm her."

You stare at her, eyes pleading for her to let it go, but she just stares back expectantly.

"Any day now Romeo, chop chop."

You nod, dropping down to one knee in front of Shay with a sigh, "Gabriela Dawson, you are the strongest, most single-minded woman… what?"

Shay is looking down at you, exasperation all over her face, "It's just, it's not, hold on."

She turns abruptly and lifts one of the blinds, peeking through in search of something.

"What are you doing," you ask, standing once again.

Shay mumbles under her breath and you think you hear her say something about "keeping their mouth shut" but before you can ask Shay is out the door and back again pulling a very surprised looking Rafferty behind her.

"Okay do you promise not to say anything," Shay asks.

"About what?"

"Casey's proposing to Dawson."

And just like that your cat is out of the bag.

Rafferty's eyes go wide as she turns to you and offers her congratulations, to which you respond with a reluctant nod.

"But what does that have to do with me," she asks, her attention back on Shay.

"Just go with it," she replies, turning to address you. "Okay, Casey, pay attention…"

She begins by explaining how if you just drop to one knee Dawson's gonna know what's coming before any words even come out of your mouth, adding that it would be fine if you wanted to "be like everyone else in the history of ever", which earns her an eyeroll from you and Rafferty alike.

"You gotta like, ease her into it, ya know," Shay continues, eyes darting over to Rafferty before landing back on you. "You want her to be able to focus on what you're telling her, not on what you're gonna ask once you're done running your mouth."

She pauses then, taking a moment before turning abruptly to Rafferty, "Hey Rafferty, you know how we uh, we bust each other's balls and stuff?"

"Yeah," Rafferty nods.

"I'm really glad we do that."

You have no idea where this is going or why an impromptu discussion of your proposal plan has turned into Shay and Rafferty talking about bonding but you sit back and wait just the same.

"Me too." Rafferty narrows her eyes as she speaks, apparently also wondering where exactly this is going.

"I mean you can handle me, you know? You don't turn tail and hide or take offense, you just give it right back."

Rafferty chuckles. "Yeah, I'm pretty good like that."

"You are," Shay continues. "And not just when we're screwing around either, I mean, you've seen me at my worst with the whole Darryl Bell estate thing and it really means the world to me, knowing I can count on you to be there when I need you the most."

Rafferty smiles softly and nods, her eyes focused intently on Shay.

"And that's why I want you to know that you can always count on me too."

You watch as Shay takes Rafferty's hand, the entire mood of the room suddenly changing.

"I can't even begin to imagine how rough the last couple of years have been for you, or how you've managed to stay so strong in spite of it all, but for what it's worth, you'll never have to deal with anything alone ever again."

Shay pauses and you can't help but smile at the way Rafferty is looking at her now.

"You know I'm actually really bad at being there for people," Shay continues. "I never know what to say, but with you it's easy… if not all that straightforward."

Rafferty laughs softly again.

"I just make fun of you so you'll know I'm there, or start an argument to remind you you're a fighter."

You watch intently as Shay continues to speak, idly wondering if either of them have realized you're still in the room with them.

"I learned that from you actually, if I'm being honest."

They share another laugh and as you lean back against your desk you notice that Rafferty's hand is still resting gingerly in Shay's.

"You taught me a lot of other things too," Shay offers, and you suddenly realize exactly what it is she's doing. "Like how if I insult your eyeshadow you'll think that's why I've been staring at you all day, and not because you're so incredibly beautiful I can't keep my eyes off of you."

You listen carefully as Shay continues on, completely in awe of the fact that while she's saying words most women hear from every potential suitor, the sincerity with which they're delivered is well on its way to bringing tears to Rafferty's eyes.

"So believe me when I tell you that there is nothing I'd rather do than spend every morning waking up with you in my arms and every night falling asleep to the feel of your breath on my skin, because if I can have that, just those two simple things, I know I'll be able to handle anything that life throws my way."

Shay drops to one knee, never breaking eye contact, and you see the first tear make its way down Rafferty's cheek.

"Allison Rafferty," Shay begins only to stand abruptly and turn directly to you. "And that, Matthew, is how you propose to a woman."

You're completely dumbfounded. Shay is standing next to you entirely unfazed while Rafferty wipes at her eyes just a few feet away and you can't help the words that fall from your lips, "You made her cry."

Shay looks over her shoulder and offers Rafferty a small smile before turning back to you with a nod, "Yep."

It takes you a moment of looking back and forth between them to figure out what else you should be saying, and by the time you think you've got it figured out Rafferty has already excused herself from the room.

"You made her cry," you repeat and Shay just chuckles. "But you're not even together, she's not even gay…"

Shay tilts her head and shrugs, and you wonder if she noticed how Rafferty was looking at her when all was said and done.

"Well even if she wasn't before I'm pretty sure she's in love with you now."

"That's the point, genius," Shay replies. "To make her fall in love with you all over again."

Her words hit you like a ton of bricks and the pressure you'd felt before to make it a memorable proposal just increased ten fold.

"Now promise you'll do it right," Shay says, inching towards the door. "Casey, hey, promise you'll do it right so I can go check on Rafferty already."

You nod and wave her off, only to stop her just before she gets the door closed again.

"Hey Shay," you call. "You're gonna need a date for the wedding. I bet Rafferty looks great in a dress."

She just grins.


End file.
